


Not Like In The Movies

by ellehcorx



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Getting Together, Happy Ending, Implied Sexual Content, Loneliness, M/M, Pianist Dan Howell, Strangers to Lovers, TA Phil Lester, no actual smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-20
Updated: 2018-04-20
Packaged: 2019-04-25 06:22:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,307
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14372796
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ellehcorx/pseuds/ellehcorx
Summary: Dan and Phil meet one night when Phil shares his umbrella. If this were a movie, they would have fallen in love right there and then as the rain poured down. Unfortunately, Dan doesn’t believe in love or relationships because of reasons in his past.





	Not Like In The Movies

**Author's Note:**

> Title & inspiration from the song "Strangers" by Sigrid. I've always been meaning to write a fic to this song & when I saw Sigrid perform this last week, this fic started vaguely writing itself in my mind.

Dan stood on the sidewalk waiting for a cab. One should have gotten here sooner, but there appeared to be a broken down car on the road that was causing a traffic build up. He was beyond tired. He just wanted to drink up whatever mini liquor bottles were stocked in his hotel room fridge. He wanted to forget about how his fingers nearly pressed the A key instead of B during the finale.

Dan was a pianist. He had been in London for the past few months, gliding his fingers along wooden keys to produce melodies with a pit orchestra in a local musical. Tonight was their closing show. Tonight was also no exception for Dan to criticize himself. He would pinpoint every single thing he could have done better. Every single note he could have pressed differently to generate a softer sound or a more intense one.

Tonight, he couldn’t bring himself to celebrate his successful run. He could only analyze what he needed to improve. Some of the band members he was friendly with asked him to come out with them for a pint, but he politely declined. He knew he would just be sat there producing fake laughs while they each told drunken stories he could care less about. Somehow being lonesome with his self deprecating thoughts was more enticing to him than feeling alone in a crowded room.

Dan was so lost in thought that he didn’t notice the storm’s warning signs of roaring thunder and drizzling. His thoughts were so loud that the sounds of horns beeping and sirens wailing didn’t annoy him like it would any other person. Only a voice that yelled out “Daniel, stop being rowdy” broke through, but only because it was human nature to respond when your own name was being called. He looked over his shoulder instantly and saw a teenager being scolded by a dark haired man.

Within the snap of a finger, the rain came crashing down to the ground heavily before he could take shelter. He was surely not dressed for the weather - simply wearing a thin black sweater without a hood. He quickly shifted his backpack towards the front of his body so he could protect his sheet music from being soaked. Dan silently cursed at the universe for adding onto his already bad mood.

He was beginning to shiver until the rain suddenly seemed to stop hitting his body. The light from the street lamp above him disappeared. He turned his head to the left and saw a figure stood beside him, holding a giant black umbrella over the two of them.

“Thought you might need some shelter from the rain,” the stranger smiled at him. It was the man whose voice he heard earlier.

Dan returned the smile and took a moment to check the stranger out. He looked around Dan’s age, maybe older. His black hair pushed back into a quiff and his dark rimmed glasses sat on the bridge of his nose. He was wearing a grey knitted sweater with black jeans and a black bomber jacket. Needless to say, he would be classified as “Dan’s type” with his bright eyes, attractive face, and decent style.

“Thank you. A taxi should be here real soon, but I really appreciate it,” Dan said before impatiently looking back down the road for a car.

That’s how encounters with strangers usually go. They’re brief. Conversations don’t start up about the weather then lead to life stories being exchanged. They’re usually a “hi, how are you?” or a “thank you” with vague responses from the opposite party. No one expects to meet anyone worthwhile on their way home after a long day, especially when they look and feel like shit.

“You were playing with the orchestra, yeah?” The man asked, “The piano?”

“Yeah,” Dan responded, looking hastily at the man without making eye contact.

“You guys sounded great! Well done.”

 _I for sure did not sound great_ , he thought.

“Thank you,” Dan said instead. He gave the stranger a tight-lipped smile, trying to convince the man and himself that he was grateful for the compliment. As much as he appreciated the stranger’s kindness, he couldn’t reciprocate it easily. Especially not when he was feeling sorry for himself. He was hoping his short responses gave the impression that he wasn’t up for small talk.

Dan was relieved when he finally saw a cab approaching. He waved it down and it pulled over to where he stood. He thanked the nameless stranger once again for his generosity in sharing his umbrella. To be honest, this must’ve been one of the few nicest encounters he’s had in a long while.

As he entered the car and asked that empty “hi, how are you?” to the cab driver, he started to realized how alone he felt. His time in London had been very desolate. He would usually rehearse with the orchestra or alone with a cheap keyboard he purchased so he could practice in his hotel room. He had no friends in the city because he usually kept to himself and he felt too awkward to do touristy things on his own. His family was only over an hour away by train, but he wasn’t close enough with his parents or his friends from school to head home when he needed human interaction.

As the driver was about to pull away from the curb, he made a spontaneous decision. Dan urged him to wait before driving away. It was one of his last days in town, so he felt brave enough to try and enjoy what was left. Dan rolled down his window and called out to the stranger.

“Hey!”

The man was a few strides away, looking down at his phone. He snapped his head up in the direction of Dan’s voice.

“Are you busy? Figured I should repay you with a drink or something for sharing your umbrella.”

Dan felt weird asking a complete stranger to accompany him. But his loneliness and need for a distraction from his self-loathing overrode his usual alienating behaviour. He didn’t feel like he should waste another night doing something that only made him feel more miserable.

“Yeah, I mean, no I’m not busy.”

Dan flashed him a quick smile as he pushed open the passenger door then scooted down so the man could take a seat beside him.

“I’m Phil.”

He held out his hand after he shut the door. It had been a while since Dan met anyone new that introduced themself with a handshake.

“Dan.”

He placed his hand in his. Phil’s handshake was firm. Clearly it was something he had practiced over the years to perfect. Dan’s on the other hand was half-hearted and pathetic.

“Are you-”

“How long-”

They both started speaking at the same time. Dan could feel his face heat up because it was always uncomfortable to him when things like that happened.

“You go ahead,” Phil said with a friendly expression.

“Are you okay with just heading to the bar at my hotel?”

“Yeah, which hotel are you staying at?”

“The Alucard.”

“Oh awesome! Not too far from my place.”

They rode the rest of the 15 minute car ride in comfortable silence. Dan listened to the pitter patter of the rain on the car’s exterior while stealing occasional glances at Phil whenever outside light hit his face. They refrained from conversation until they were settled on bar stools in front of a bartender.

Dan dropped his backpack on the ground, between his legs. Phil hung his wet umbrella off the back of his seat. Once they both had drinks on the counter before them, Dan continued their exchange after taking a swig of whiskey.

“Sorry, what were you going to ask earlier before I interrupted?”

“I was going to ask you how long you’ve been with the orchestra.”

“Oh I auditioned last year, then I got the gig early Fall. From that point on it was all rehearsals until opening night in late December.”

Dan recalled how nervous he was going into that audition. He was a complete mess during the weeks leading up to it. He would rehearse in his basement until he felt like his fingertips were going to fall off. It drove his mum and brother crazy to hear Bach’s Prelude & Fugue No.2 repeatedly every single day. Despite losing sleep, weight, and his mind at times, he managed to pull off his audition flawlessly.

Phil replied with absolute intrigue for Dan’s occupation. He asked many questions about what it was like and if Dan enjoyed what he did. Dan didn’t mind being bombarded by Phil’s curiosity. No one, other than job interviewers, ever really asked him about his passion for piano.

“What are your plans now that the show’s over?”

“I have an audition in Toronto soon, so I’m leaving the day after tomorrow. Some undisclosed artist is looking for a pianist for their next album, so figured I’d give it a try. I’ve usually just done live performances, so it’d be nice to see what recording would be like.”

“I hope you get the job! That honestly sounds very cool.”

“Thank you.”

Dan held up his glass slightly as a toast to Phil’s comment before downing the rest of it.

Phil took a sip of his long island iced tea before his phone began to go off. The sound startled both of them causing Phil to dribble a bit. Dan promptly handed him a napkin.

“Sorry, I need to take this,” Phil said as he walked away, dabbing his chin with the tissue.

Dan watched as Phil trekked out of the restaurant doors and into the lobby. He observed that Phil gesticulated as he spoke. Once Phil pocketed his phone after the short conversation, he hurriedly shifted his gaze as he walked back towards him.

“Sorry about that. My, I guess boss, wanted to make sure all the students got picked up from the theatre.”

“Are you a teacher or something?”

“I’m working on finishing my teaching degree. For my final term, I have to basically be a teaching assistant at a school. I recommended we see the play tonight because we’re learning about Shakespeare, so I thought it’d be nice for the kids to see something in action.”

“That sounds fun. Nice of you to immerse your students in that way.”

“Yeah. It does get a little frustrating getting them to listen to you all of the time. But I’m really enjoying myself.”

Dan wanted to return the interest Phil had in his career and asked Phil questions pertaining to his education and placement. He learned that Phil spent years switching between degrees until he settled on teaching. He enjoyed how Phil described his experiences because he made the most normal situations sound entertaining.

The effects of the alcohol became apparent after emptying his second glass. He was speaking more freely and could feel the warmth radiate through his body. Phil was still working on his second drink, but Dan knew he was getting tipsy by the end of his first. Phil’s cheeks were flushed, his comments were less thought out, and his hand was landing on Dan’s thigh whenever they shared a laugh.

Dan held his breath a little whenever it happened. It had been a while since anybody has touched him. With his chosen profession, he rarely made time to meet other people. He’d have random hook-ups maybe once every few months when he felt lonely. They were usually with people he worked with, people who admired his piano playing, or through Tinder. But they never progressed further than sex because Dan didn’t do relationships.

“I cannot believe you’ve been here all this time and haven’t gone exploring,” Phil spoke with a shocked expression. It’s amazing that Dan could still understand him as his words were starting to slur.

“Do I really look like someone who’s confident enough to wander the streets alone?”

Phil sipped his almost empty drink then slammed his glass down on the counter harder than he intended. He instantly shot an apologetic look at the bartender who just waved his hand to gesture that it was okay.

“When are you leaving again?”

“What day is it today?”

“Friday.. Yeah Friday.”

Dan quickly looked up at the ceiling to do some mental math. “Sunday evening then.”

“Perfect! Tomorrow we are going to be tourists for the day.”

“Do we have to? I could spend my day rehearsing for my audition,” Dan whined.

“No! That’s all you’ve been doing since you’ve been here. One day without it, what do you say?”

It was true. Since he arrived in London, there hasn’t been a day where his fingers didn’t press down on black and white keys. There hasn’t been a day where he heard more of a person’s voice than the sound of a piano or keyboard.

He looked down at his almost empty glass then back at Phil. Phil batted his lashes as he pleaded. It was charming and adorable, something Dan knew he couldn’t say no to. One day without music wouldn’t hurt. It may be good for him to have a change for once.

“Fine,” Dan agreed as he swallowed the rest of his whiskey.

“Yes!” Phil smiled widely before placing his lips on his straw to finish his drink. “It’s going to be a day you’ll remember, promise!”

“I’m holding you to that,” Dan joked.

They both ordered just one more drink each before calling it a night. If this played out like Dan had pictured, they would both be up in his hotel room fooling around in his bed. It was one of those lonely nights for Dan where he wouldn’t mind having hands and a mouth wandering his body. But they were both pretty wasted, so Dan knew it wouldn’t be as enjoyable as he’d like it to be.

Dan helped Phil to the front of the hotel. One of Phil’s arms was around Dan’s neck, while Dan supported him at the waist. Despite both of them being drunk, Dan’s tolerance was clearly better than Phil’s. Dan opened the car door and Phil swung his other arm around Dan’s neck, pulling him into an embrace, making Dan laugh and lose his balance a little. He had written down his room number on a napkin back at the bar and he placed it into Phil’s coat pocket before gently backing him into the seat. After prying Phil’s arms off his neck and giggling as Phil pouted, he shut the cab door and watched the car drive away on the rainy streets.

Dan headed towards the elevator and pressed the button for the 8th floor. It just hit him how exhausted he truly felt. It was only past midnight, which Dan didn’t consider late, but he was ready to crash. He opened the door to his hotel room, changed into his pajamas and brushed his teeth. Slipping into the tidied bed felt heavenly to his body.

He was kind of hoping Phil wouldn’t find the napkin so he didn’t bother setting an alarm. He was counting on Phil to forget their plans or be too hungover to roam around town. It had been quite some time since he’s even gotten to know someone in this way, so sleeping with Phil could end up with one of them getting attached to the other. His usual hook-ups were strictly just sex, so it probably wouldn’t be wise to try it with Phil.

  


The knock on the door was in rhythm with the pounding in Dan’s head. He checked the clock on the bedside table and saw that it was only 10:30 AM. He kept yelling “stop” in his mind, hoping that whoever was on the other side of the door would hear it and go away. When another 3 knocks sounded, Dan agitatedly got out of bed and walked over to the door. He peered out the eyehole and saw Phil all bright eyed and ready for the day. _Fuck_ , Dan thought.

Dan ran back over to the bed and tossed on the shirt he removed in the middle of the night. He quickly fixed his hair in the small mirror next to the door before opening it. He looked like hell and was in no way presentable, but he couldn’t keep Phil waiting any longer.

“Hey..” Phil’s smile dropped the second he saw Dan’s unenthused, tired face. “Oh my god, I’m here too early for you, aren’t I? Sorry. Ever since I started TA-ing, my body’s been adjusted to waking up earlier. And-”

Dan interrupted Phil’s rambling. “Phil, it’s fine. I’m just hungover is all. Speaking of which, how are you not?”

Phil just shrugged. “I’ve never really gotten hangovers.”

“Lucky,” Dan said as he gestured for Phil to enter his room with a hand motion.

“I’m just going to take a quick shower and get ready. I shouldn’t be too long.”

Phil took a seat at the small round table that faced the balcony.

“Not a problem! There’s coffee, bagels, and pastries here when you’re done.” He held up a bag Dan didn’t notice he was carrying.

“Thanks, mate.”

Dan scoured through his suitcase until he found a pair of clean pants and an outfit he wanted to wear. He chose a grey tee, black skinny jeans, and a black denim jacket. He also grabbed an Advil before heading into the bathroom and chased it down with some tap water.

After 5 minutes of washing his hair and lathering his body with crappy hotel toiletries, he stepped out of the shower and into the steamy bathroom. His left hand wiped the fog off the mirror so he could see his face. His eyes were still red from his fatigue and the bags under them made him look dead. Dan picked up his toothbrush and began scrubbing away at his teeth. He hoped Phil didn’t get a whiff of his morning breath when he let him in.

Once he was dried off and dressed, he opened the bathroom door and rejoined Phil in the bedroom. Phil had a newspaper in one hand and a bagel in the other.

“Isn’t half the shit in there just kind of depressing?” Dan asked as he ran his fingers to lightly brush out his curls.

“I like to keep up to date with current affairs for my students,” he replied as he placed the paper down on the table.

“Fair.”

Dan took the seat across from him and picked up a strawberry danish.

“So what’s on the agenda today?” He asked after swallowing the bite.

“Just a few places. Didn’t want to overwhelm you too much and I’m sure you’ll be back.”

Even though Dan didn’t grow up too far from London, the only times he’s ever come into town had been music-related. He’s taken the train alone or with friends to attend auditions, West End musicals, or concerts for pianists or popular artists and bands. But never had he taken the time to explore the city.

“Okay,” Dan didn’t want to protest. It was kind of Phil to give up his Saturday to act as a tour guide for him.

They finished their coffees and scarfed down the rest of the food. Dan laced his most comfortable pair of shoes, knowing he’d be doing a lot of walking today. He did one final check through the room before they exited to make sure he had his wallet, hotel card, and phone.

 

A cab pulled up and they hopped into the backseat. Dan looked out the windows as Phil told him facts about the views. It was a nice sunny day compared to the downpour yesterday night. Soon they were dropped off at Buckingham Palace.

Formal tours weren’t being offered this time of year, so they just wandered around the gates at their own pace. Dan pulled his phone out to take random photos of the scenery. He didn’t care much for snapping shots of places he’s been to, but he felt like it was something that was required when you explore somewhere new for the first time.

“I think you should be in the photos,” Phil said as he swiped Dan’s phone from his hand.

“No, Phil, that’s so lame,” Dan wailed, trying to retrieve his phone.

“Come on! Just pose in front of the building.”

“No, I’ll look so stupid by myself.”

“How about if I was in the shot with you?” Phil asked.

“Fine, if it’ll shut you up about it.”

Phil squealed. He stopped a woman who was walking past and asked her to take their photo.

Dan felt a warm arm snake around his waist then Phil’s side pressed against his. Phil was smiling at the camera, while Dan smiled but looked at Phil in disbelief.  

He would usually be annoyed when someone, usually family members or friends, was pushy about something he didn’t want to do. It just fascinated him how easily this stranger could get him to do things against his word. This man was definitely something else.

“Sorry, did you want me to take more?” the lady asked, “One of you isn’t looking.”

“It’s okay,” Dan voiced before Phil could answer. He didn’t want to take any more photos and he didn’t want to waste any more of the nice woman’s time.

He took his phone back and thanked her.

“No more photos!” Dan told Phil while lightly tapping his arm with his phone.

Phil just pouted back at him.

Next, they walked over to Trafalgar Square. Phil showed Dan the various landmarks in its surrounding area. Dan found it to be a little crowded for his taste, but still enjoyed the tidbits Phil shared with him.

They strolled over to Covent Garden and perused through the different shops. Dan loved the variety in retailers. It was also past lunchtime so they stopped to quickly eat in a restaurant with the coolest decor Dan has ever seen.

“Have you lived here your whole life?” Dan asked as he forked some spinach.

“No, I moved here for school. Hopefully staying here if Bardell, the school my placement is at, hires me after I graduate.”

Dan admired how Phil spoke about his job. Whenever he spoke about being a pianist, he only shared the good parts. But deep down, it felt very bittersweet. It was the perfect blend of love and hate. While hearing Phil speak about his job feeling so rewarding, Dan’s heart ached because his career had never felt that way to him.

  


Even though Dan stopped taking photos of things they saw, Phil didn’t want him to miss out. He insisted on Dan handing over his phone so he could take candids of Dan admiring statues or selfies of them together.

“Can we take 5?” Dan asked.

His feet were beginning to hurt from the hours of walking they’ve done.

“How about we grab some gelato then sit in the square?” Phil suggested.

Gelato sounded nice and cool, the opposite of what Dan was right now.

They both sat on the ledge of the fountain with their cones. Dan laughed as Phil failed to lick the drips on the side of his. The man somehow managed to get gelato on his hands, face, and hair. Dan tried to help by using the limited amount of napkins they had to wipe the cream off the areas Phil couldn’t see. When they ran out of clean napkins, he briefly left Dan at the fountain to find somewhere to wash up.

As Dan sat there looking around at all of the people, he felt oddly at ease for once. Not being tethered to a small room playing the same melody over and over again seemed to feel a bit freeing. Not that playing piano didn’t bring him joy, he just hadn’t escaped the repetitivity of it since he was 7 years old. He was always sat at the bench for an hour or more a day learning new tunes or playing the same ones over and over again until he could play it by heart.

Suddenly, he spotted a toddler trying to climb the ledge of the fountain near him. He quickly looked around to see if his parents or any other adult nearby was responsible for this child. When no one seemed to be rushing over, Dan got up and headed over to him.

He bent down to match the kid’s height. “Hey buddy, where’s your mom or dad?”

The child looked at him a bit frightened with his big brown eyes. He sort of reminded Dan of himself when he was younger - alone without the attention of his parents.

Dan just smiled at the boy and took his finger to slowly boop his nose, hoping to get a positive response. His heart melted when the child let out a quiet giggle, then took his own hand to touch Dan’s nose.

Phil re-appeared beside Dan and scared the toddler. He ran into Dan’s arms and buried his face into his chest.

“It’s okay, it’s okay,” he gently held the kid away from his body to face him, “I’m Dan and this is my friend Phil. We’re going to find your mummy or daddy, okay?”

The kid just shyly nodded as Dan stood up again.

“Who is this?” Phil mouthed once Dan was at his height. He had a confused expression on his face. It probably looked like Dan stole a child.

“I just saw him alone trying to climb into the fountain.” Dan shrugged.

The child held onto Dan’s hand and stood in between Dan and Phil. To anybody else, they probably looked like a couple with their child, going on an evening stroll.

They walked through crowds of people in search of somebody frantically looking for their kid. Dan swears they must’ve circled the fountain a handful of times. He was ready to give up when suddenly the child let go of Dan’s hand and ran over to a man and a woman who were bickering at each other.

“Oh my god, Andy!” The woman bent down and embraced the child.

“I can’t believe you weren’t looking. He could’ve been taken or died, Anna!” The man yelled at the woman.

“Is this your child?” Dan asked the pair.

“Yes, my wife isn’t capable of watching over him apparently.” The man rolled his eyes.

“I would’ve paid closer attention if you weren’t too busy causing a scene earlier!” The woman yelled back.

“So you’re telling me you two were too busy arguing to even look for your child? We’ve been wandering around for over 30 minutes, looking for people who were desperate to find their kid, yet he was the one who found you. Unbelievable!” Dan shook his head, starting to feel the anger rise in him.

“What’s your problem, mate? Mind your own business and let my family deal with our own issues, okay?” The man got closer and into Dan’s face.

Dan just pushed himself closer so their chests were touching. He was a good 5 inches taller than this man and could honestly take him if it came down to it.

“Scott, he found our son. Lay off him, will you?”

The woman stood up and pulled her husband away.

“Thank you for taking care of Andy,” she said sympathetically to Dan.

“Watch over him better. And stop fighting in front of him if you don’t want him to grow up feeling messed up,” Dan spat out before he felt Phil’s hand on his back, urging him to walk away. When Dan shrugged it off, Phil reached out and laced their fingers together and yanked him away.

“Want to talk about it? What they did was wrong, but I can’t help but sense there’s more to this.”

“It’s fine. It’s nothing. Let’s just head to the next place on your agenda.”

“We lost quite a bit of time, so I think it’s best we just head on the Eye.”

Dan used the time they spent walking to clear his mind and calm himself down. He didn’t want to act like that in front of someone he just met yesterday. In front of someone who so graciously spent the day showing him around. In front of someone who will never know why he got as worked up as he did. He was so angry over what had just happened, he didn’t realize he was still holding on to Phil’s hand until he felt the soothing effect of Phil’s thumb stroking it.

Their hands separated when Phil went to pay for their tickets. They were sat side by side in the carriage and began ascending into the sky. The view below took Dan’s breath away. He honestly didn’t care much for what they saw when they were on the ground. But being up high and seeing everything lit up so beautifully made him feel happy, even if it was just during this moment.

“Thank you, Phil, for showing me around today,” Dan said turned to face Phil and gave him his softest smile.

He was genuinely grateful that this stranger took time out of his day. Even though he was fully ready to forget about their encounter yesterday, he was glad Phil didn’t forget about their plans today.

  


Phil walked Dan back to his hotel and insisted he drop him off at his hotel room. Dan would’ve naturally argued that it was getting late and Phil should head home, but he was enjoying his company.

“I hope you have a good flight tomorrow and that your audition goes well. It was nice to hang out with you, Dan. Now you can go back to your beloved keyboard.”

“I believe someone told me that I should take the day off from it and-” Dan looked down at his wrist at his non-existent watch, “it doesn’t seem to be midnight yet.”

Dan smiled as he stepped aside from the doorway to let Phil in. Phil grinned back as he walked inside the room.

They decided to order a pizza and they watched whatever crappy television show that looked mildly interesting. _Maybe this doesn’t have to lead to anything else_ , Dan thought. Maybe he could just allow himself to have a good time with someone who was easy to be around.

“Can I hear what you’re planning on playing for your audition?” Phil asked.

They were sat on the beige carpeted floor in front of the television. Dan’s keyboard was resting on the dresser in front of where Dan sat.

“I thought I wasn’t allowed to touch it today?” Dan teased.

Phil rolled his eyes and gestured for him to get it.

The two of them sat beside each other with a small gap in between. Dan rested the keyboard on both of their thighs. He turned it on and adjusted the settings so that the volume wasn’t too loud. He’d usually plug his headphones in when he would practice alone so he can play without disturbing the neighbours.

“Okay,” Dan said nervously. Performing for anyone gave him that slight stomach feeling.

He placed his fingers on the keys and began playing a piece by Mozart. Dan looked over at Phil’s face a few times and saw that he had closed his eyes to listen. The corners of his lips turned up a bit into a small smile.

“Ta-da,” Dan said once he concluded the song.

Phil’s eyes shot open. “That was amazing. Holy crap.”

Dan just blushed at his reaction.

“I wish I could play even a fraction as good as you,” Phil said as he began pressing random keys. The beginning of “Mary Had A Little Lamb” ringing through the air.

“Want me to teach you something?” Dan offered.

“Um, yes please.” He could hear the excitement in Phil’s voice.

Dan grabbed Phil’s right hand and placed his fingers on specific keys. He swore he could Phil catch his breath at his touch. He tapped on each finger for Phil to press down on. Once he played the notes altogether, his eyes widened.

“Is this the Star Wars theme?”

Dan laughed at his reaction. “Yeah!”

“It kind of sounds wrong on the higher end, can I try it on your end?”

Before Dan could answer, Phil was making his way closer to him to reach the left side of the keyboard. Phil’s left shoulder was brushing his chest.

Dan just shook his head as he chuckled at Phil’s impatience. He can’t recall that last time he laughed so hard that the crinkles in the corner of his eyes were present.

“Look, I’m doing it!” Phil exclaimed as he successfully played the part Dan taught him with lower notes.

He twisted his torso so he could look up to see Dan’s reaction. Dan just grinned at him because he looked like such an eager child. They didn’t break eye contact as Phil sat back up.

Dan was contemplating whether or not he should lean in. Whether or not he should give into his needs of pleasure. Whether or not this was the smart thing to do. Phil had been nothing but amazing these past two days. He would hate to crush him. Or maybe Phil wasn’t into relationships either.

As his mind was buzzing with several possibilities, he found Phil leaning in for a kiss. It was as if his body made a decision for him when he felt himself welcoming Phil’s lips on his. Phil pulled back for a second and stared into Dan’s eyes to make sure what was happening was okay.

Dan wasn’t sure if this was okay. But he was sure that he needed Phil’s body on him, in him, in whichever way he could get it.

He gently slid the keyboard off of their legs. Then he grabbed the front of Phil’s shirt as he reattached their lips together hungrily. He leaned backwards until his back hit the floor and pulled Phil down on top of him. Phil bit at Dan’s bottom lip, then eventually slid his tongue into Dan’s mouth.

With how they were laying, Dan could feel Phil’s growing bulge on top of his thigh and he was sure Phil could feel his. Phil pecked Dan’s lips, then got up from the ground and held out a hand for Dan to take. The second Dan was up, he pushed Phil backwards onto the bed. Phil scooted back so his legs weren’t dangling off the edge. Dan crawled on top of him and straddled his waist. His lips connected with Phil’s neck as his fingers worked on unbuttoning Phil’s shirt. Once Phil’s shirt was off and a very visible bruise started appearing on his neck, Dan removed his lips from Phil’s body and allowed Phil to slide his shirt off.

Quickly, the rest of their clothing was removed. The comforter the only thing covering their naked bodies. Only muffled sounds coming out of either of their mouths for the next while as they tried to keep quiet.

  


“Wow,” Phil said as they both laid on their backs afterwards.

“You tired?” Dan asked.

“Not really. Kind of hungry actually.”

“We still have some pizza, right?”

They didn’t bother to get redressed. Phil sat on the floor wrapped in the comforter, while Dan was wrapped in a sheet. A cold pizza slice in each of their hands.

Once their cravings were satisfied, Phil leaned back into Dan and they continued to lazily make out. Phil swung his leg so there was one knee on either side of Dan’s thighs as Dan rested his back on the bed’s end.

“I could get used to this,” Phil muttered into the kiss.

Dan froze. What he feared would happen was happening. One of them was getting attached. He knew it could have been a bad idea to sleep with Phil. He should have listened to that thought. This was why he never had conversations with anyone he’s ever slept with. This was why he keeps his distance.

Phil saw the freaked out look on Dan’s face and got off of his lap to just sit in front of him instead.

“I’m guessing we’re not on the same page,” Phil said, his voice quiet.

“Phil, I..” Dan was struggling to formulate the proper words, “I don’t do relationships.”

“Oh.. so I was just someone you were going to fuck before you ran off to Toronto?” Phil spat out.

“I’d say it’s complicated, but I guess I just have my parents divorce to thank.”

“Is that why you were so worked up earlier with the child?”

Dan just nodded without looking at Phil. He’s never had to explain to someone why he didn’t believe in love. It was always understood that sex was just sex. But with how things were going with Phil, he never should’ve agreed to meeting up with him a second time because now things felt messy.

“He reminded me of when I was younger. I used to hear my parents fight all of the time. They enrolled me for piano lessons so I had something to distract myself with. But no matter how loud I slammed the keys, it could never drown out their yelling. I kept playing anyway. It was my choice of escape.”

He hated that a single tear escaped his eye and was rolling down his face. He hated that Phil moved to sit beside him and wiped the tear with his finger. He hated that Phil pulled him into his chest and held him.

“There are just people who aren’t meant to be together, no matter how hard they try. But there are also people out there who work so well together and stay in love throughout their whole lives.”

“I don’t know. I’ve just found it so much easier to just stay away from love altogether.”

“But what if you find the person you’re supposed to be with? Would you give that a chance?”

Dan just shook his head. He’s lived 26 years of solitude. He’s convinced himself he didn’t need a companion to enjoy his life. Then again, he’s never encountered anyone who challenged his mindset, until now.

“If you’re talking about soulmates or whatever, that’s a bunch of shit, Phil.”

“Call me a hopeless romantic, but I think they’re real. And I feel something really strong between us. Even though we just met, I’d call you a liar if you say you don’t feel something here.”

“I don’t know what I’m feeling, Phil. Can we just drop this? I’m leaving tomorrow anyway and I don’t know when I’ll be back. So it just wouldn’t work.”

Phil didn’t push it any further. He released a sigh.

“Okay. It’s my problem to deal with. I knew you were leaving and I made a move anyway.”

Dan figured Phil would’ve just been angry with him and left. That would’ve made more sense than what Phil ended up suggesting.

“Just for the rest of the night, how about we just pretend? Act as if this was the perfect relationship. Then come morning, I’ll leave here. We don’t exchange numbers, we forget each other’s faces, and we move on with our lives as if we’ve never met. I get a sneak peek at what we’d be like as a couple and you get your one night stand with no strings attached.”

Dan just looked at him as if he were crazy. It was the weirdest proposal he’s ever heard in his life.  

“I don’t even know how to respond to that. I don’t really see what’s good about this for your sake.”

Phil shrugged. “A night of not sleeping alone. Just say yes.”

He was looking at Dan with his blue eyes wide and his lashes batted just like yesterday.

“Okay.”

It was 4 AM when they made this decision. They ended up in the sheets once again before 5. Lazily kissed and giggled about dumb stuff until 6. Then they fell asleep with Phil curved around Dan until 10.

Phil was already out of bed and dressed when Dan opened his eyes. His heart kind of sank at the sight. But this was their agreement.

Dan kneeled on the bed and crawled over to the edge of it to greet Phil. He didn’t care that he was still naked or that the air was cold. He wrapped his arms around Phil’s neck and pulled him in for a kiss.

“Changed your mind?” Phil asked, smiling into the kiss.

Dan smirked as he shook his head. “Just continuing the fantasy.”

He got out of bed and pulled his pants on to walk Phil to the door.

“Thank you for showing me around yesterday and for last night, Phil..”

Phil quickly shook his head. “No last names. That way we can’t look each other up.”

“Fair,” Dan replied.

“I enjoyed our time together, Dan. I wish it were longer, but I’m not going to try to change your mind, especially since you’re leaving tonight.”

“Understandable.”

They both stood awkwardly in front of each other. When it was clear there really wasn’t more to say, Dan spoke up.

“Bye Phil.” His lips pursed together in a hard line. He’s never had to do anything like this before.

“Have a safe flight. And good luck at your audition.” He placed a kiss on Dan’s cheek. “Bye Dan.”

Dan watched as the handsome man walked down the hallway towards the lift. He shut the door when he was no longer in view.

All he wanted to do in this exact moment was lay in the bed and cover himself with the sheets and wake up in a perfect world. A world where his parents never divorced and stayed in love. A world where his view on love wasn’t so tainted. A world where he stopped breaking his own heart because it was just easier. A world where he could have someone like Phil or Phil himself.

It was already noon and his flight was departing at 5. He had an hour to pack before he had to head to the airport. Dan quickly hopped in the shower to wash the scent of Phil off of his body. He loved the smell, but he couldn’t allow himself to drown in it.

Once he was dressed, he started to clear the bathroom sink. Really it was only his toothbrush that he needed to pack up. He moved to the closet and began folding his jackets, jeans, and formalwear that he hung in there. Majority of his clothes stayed in his suitcase throughout his trip, so he just folded them from the crumpled mess they were before. His shoes and electronics were the last to be included. All that remained of his was the crappy keyboard he purchased from a local thrift store. He placed a note on top of it letting the staff know that they can donate it or toss it out.

After one final inspection, he began to wheel his suitcase out of the room. He went to the front desk to check out then proceeded to grab a taxi. As he drove through town to get to Heathrow Airport, he felt a little sad that it took until yesterday to finally go out and explore. Dan knew he’d be back though, so he bottled up that sadness.

 

He paid the taxi and began to walk towards the airline counter to check in his bag. Dan looked over his shoulder before going through security just in case this was a movie and Phil was rushing in to stop him from boarding his plane. He doesn’t know why that thought came into his mind. That would be the opposite of what he would’ve wanted, right? To give up his dreams and give love a try.

Dan boarded his plane and bid goodbye to the UK for the time being. 8 hours later he was exiting onto Canadian soil. After going through customs, he hopped into yet another taxi that took him to his AirBnB.

Dan made sure he chose a place that had a piano for him to practice on. He didn’t want to have to go out and purchase one like last time. He gave himself a quick tour of the condo, which was a dainty one bedroom space with a kitchen and tiny lounge. Just big enough for his lonesome self.

He took a long, hot shower and scrubbed off the grossness he felt after his long flight. When he finished changing, he headed onto the streets to grab a quick meal. He decided he’d stock the kitchen on a later day, when he wasn’t feeling so worn out.

As he sat on the sofa eating his sad box of Cantonese noodles, he felt a weird feeling he’s never felt before. Normally, he would’ve felt excitement about being in a new city and getting a chance to try a new opportunity. But instead he felt a bit miserable and like something was missing. The loneliness he was so accustomed to every night now just felt unbearable. _It’s probably just the tiredness from the 5 hour time difference_ , he thought. He decided to head to bed after he finished eating, hoping he’d feel better in the morning.

 

The following weeks leading up to his audition consisted of blood, sweat, and tears. Dan was being extra hard on himself because his mind wasn’t focusing on the task at hand the way he wanted it to. For every time he played the piece perfectly, he’d mess up 3 times. He didn’t know why his game was so off. That’s a lie. He knew why, but he didn’t want to acknowledge it. It may have been Phil who wanted them to be more, but it turns out it was Dan who needed it.

His audition was in 2 days and he didn’t feel prepared like he usually did. He felt like such a mess. His fingers ached, his eyes were bloodshot from lack of sleep, his stomach growled from barely eating, and his heart was craving the happiness he felt when he was with Phil.

He’d really been trying to push Phil out of his mind. There were moments where he could convince himself that Phil wasn’t real and what was real was the keys in front of him. But more often, he found himself daydreaming about their time together. It was a pretty look of what they could be. A look at what Dan never allowed himself to have because he spent so long hating love.

Maybe that was why playing piano was this big love/hate relationship to him. He poured his heart and soul into playing ever since he was young because it was a way to block out his parents unhappiness. With all the time he spent playing music, he had gotten really good at it. But it had become symbolic of what he was trying to escape. The only reason he was so great at performing was because of how much he hated watching his parents marriage fall apart.

Was he even playing for himself anymore? Did he even enjoy it? He spent so long using his anger to produce beautiful melodies that it didn’t feel right anymore. Like there were now better things he could use his time for than having to play music without any satisfaction. He liked playing with orchestras and it would be cool to play for a celebrity, but it personally didn’t mean anything to him. He was killing himself preparing for auditions when he didn’t actually want the spots he was auditioning for.

 

On the day of his audition, he pulled his phone out to call for an Uber in the lobby. For some reason, he accidentally clicked on the Photos app and saw the pictures Phil had taken of him by himself and selfies of them together. Dan smiled and his heart skipped a beat from how handsome Phil looked. He almost didn’t recognize himself in the shots because he couldn’t remember what he ever looked like happy. Looking at the photos urged Dan to make an impulsive decision. He hurriedly took the lift back up to his rented condo and began to pack his things.

He called an Uber to take him to Pearson International Airport. Dan purchased a ticket for the first flight back to London. Right now he could care less about ditching the audition. All he cared about was being in the same country as Phil. He felt absolutely insane. He was making reckless decisions based off how he felt for a guy he knew for a total of two days. But if things worked out like they do in the movies, he’d keep getting to know Phil for the rest of their lives.

It only occurred to him the second he touched down at Heathrow that he had no way of tracking Phil down. They exchanged no information so they couldn’t stay in contact. Dan didn’t even know where he was going to stay for the night. It was just dawning on him how idiotic it was to do all of this without fully planning it out.

 

Dan settled on taking a train back to Wokingham. He’d spend the night at his mum’s. He’d return to London in the morning, but tonight he’d figure out a way to find Phil.

He rang the doorbell and his mum answered the door with tears forming in her eyes at the sight of her eldest boy.

“Daniel!”

“Hi mum,” Dan gave her a small smile.

“Oh honey, it’s been so long.” His mum pulled him into a tight hug.

“I know. I’m sorry.”

“Come in, come in.”

She turned the kettle on to start preparing some tea.

“I thought you were supposed to be in Toronto,” she said as she placed a teacup in front of him.

“I was, but I came home today. Things have happened that I need to deal with here.”

“Good things, I hope.”

Dan didn’t respond at first. He recalled all of the times he spent crossed with his parents as he grew up. He’s been using their divorce as an excuse to run away. It wasn’t fair for him to blame them for the example they set in regards to love because once upon a time they actually were in love and happy. It wasn’t their fault it didn’t work out. But if they didn’t fall in love, he wouldn’t have been brought into the world.

Before he changed his mind, Dan turned his body to face his mum and grabbed her hands.

“Mum, I just wanted to say I’m sorry if I’ve been cold towards you growing up. I guess the divorce hit me really hard. Hearing you and dad fight all the time made me never want to be in a relationship for all of my life.” Tears started rolling down his cheek.

“Oh my gosh, Daniel. I am so sorry that your father and I ever put you in that position. We should never have been fighting in front of you.” She cupped his cheek and used her thumb to wipe the tears. “But just because your father and I weren’t meant for each other, it does not mean that you shouldn’t find someone who’s meant for you. Love is hard work, but it’s worth the work if it’s with the right person. Life can be tough to go through alone if being alone makes you feel lonely.”

“Are you okay with being alone?” He asked her. He knew his mother went on dates, but no one ever stuck.

“I’m not alone, dear. I have you and Adrian. You boys fill my heart.”

Dan broke down and placed his chin on his mum’s shoulder. He hated that he spent so long shutting her out. He made a mental reminder to apologize to his dad as well.

When they were finished with the sadness, Dan opened up to his mum about Phil. He told her how handsome he was with his jet black hair and ocean blue eyes. He told her how charming and funny he was when he shared stories about his life. He told her how kind and understanding he was whenever Dan and him disagreed on something. He told her every single thing he adored about Phil and was amazed by how easy it was to say it all out loud.

“He sounds like a lovely boy. I do hope you find him.”

“Me too.”

“What did you say he did again?”

“He’s a TA at Bardell..” Dan instantly stopped speaking.

“Bardell! I’ll likely find him at Bardell!” He jumped out of his seat in excitement.

His mum laughed as he apologized for acting crazy.

He Googled the address before he went to sleep that night. His heart was bursting at the thought of being one step closer to seeing Phil. But he also began to consider the fact that maybe Phil didn’t want to see him or he’d found someone else in the weeks Dan had been gone. He tried not to dwell on the negatives. If there was one thing he wanted to try in all of his life, it was this.

  


Dan took a deep breath before he walked into the front doors of Bardell Primary School. He figured that heading to the front office would be a good place to start.

“Hi, I’m looking for a TA named Phil.. sorry I didn’t get his last name. I’m from the play they went to a few weeks back and he wanted me to come speak to his class.” Dan hoped the bullshit he whipped up worked.

“Ah Phil Lester, that man is a sweetheart,” the secretary said.

 _Phil Lester_ , Dan smiled to himself as he repeated his name in his head.

“He’s in the gymnasium setting up for the school dance this evening.”

“Great. Which direction is that?”

“Just down the hall to your right. I’ll just need you to sign into the visitor log and place the visitor badge on your clothing!”

“Thank you..” Dan read her name tag, “Linda. I hope you have a good day!”

“You too, dear.”

Dan held his breath as he pushed the gym door open. His face dropped when he saw that the room was empty. He was about to turn around and exit when he heard a noise. The door at the opposite end opened and a man walked in, struggling with a bunch of helium balloons.

Dan quietly laughed to himself as he walked over to the figure.

Once Phil placed the balloons down and stepped around them, he froze right in place at the sight of Dan.

“What are you doing here?” Phil asked, still shocked, once Dan was in front of him.

“Came to see you,” Dan smiled.

“But.. but how?”

“You briefly mentioned once that you TA’d here. I’m glad I remembered.”

“Why are you here?” Phil frowned slightly.

Dan felt as if he was being burned.

“Because I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you. I know we had an agreement because of my stupid views. And you know what? I was wrong about that. I was wrong to not want to give us a shot. And I completely understand if you want nothing to do with me or if you’ve found somebody else. But I just needed to come and say my peace.”

“Dan..,” Phil grabbed his hand and placed it over his chest. He could feel Phil’s heart beating abnormally fast. “I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you either.”

Dan grinned as he tossed his arms around Phil’s neck. He was glad they were the only two in this giant room as he went in for a kiss that Phil gladly returned. They both couldn’t stop smiling when they pulled apart.

“I missed you, Phil Lester,” Dan admitted as he continued to latch onto Phil’s neck.

  


He helped Phil set the rest of the decorations up. Metallic banners, rainbow streamers, and a giant balloon arch were scattered across the whole gymnasium.

“Luckily because I set up the gym, I don’t have to stay back to chaperone,” Phil smirked at Dan.

“I guess that is lucky.”

They left the building hand in hand. Phil called an Uber and they ended up at Phil’s flat within 15 minutes. The second the door opened, Dan was all over Phil.

Phil just laughed as he tried to speak, “We have so much time for that. Wanted to show you around first.”

He took Dan by the hand and showed him the kitchen, dining room, spare room, and finally his bedroom. When Phil said he was done with the tour, Dan’s fingers raced to Phil’s jeans and began to unbutton them. Their eyes stayed locked and their smiles never faded as Phil stepped out of his jeans. Both of their clothes came off one by one between sloppy kisses. Phil shoved Dan onto his bed and ran his hands down the side of his torso. He left a trail of gentle kisses as he made his way down. Dan moaned loudly as Phil’s mouth took him in.

Dan pressed a kiss into Phil’s forehead. Dan had his arms around Phil’s shoulder, while Phil hugged his waist.

“I honestly didn’t think I was going to see you again,” Phil confessed.

“I didn’t think so either. But I needed to see you again,” Dan responded.

He described how hard it had been for him to focus the past few weeks. How all he could do was think about how lovely Phil was and how he wanted more time together. It was a feeling so foreign to him, but a feeling he knew he could trust. It was scary to fall for someone without knowing how it’ll end up, but it was scarier not to try and be with them.

“I felt crazy feeling as strongly as I did after only knowing you for two days. That’s why I thought it made sense to just move on from it. Surely no one falls that easily and that fast.”

“I’m mental too then if you thought you were crazy for feeling that way. This is all way too new for me.”

“How did your audition go, by the way?”

“I kind of ditched it to come back here..”

“You did not miss your audition for me!” Phil sat up and looked at him.

Dan just gave him a guilty smile.

“Oh my god, Dan. What are you going to do now?”

He could tell Phil felt horrified that he was the reason why Dan abandoned his audition.

“I’ll figure it out.” He patted his chest so Phil would lie back down on him.

“I may have another proposal..”

“Oh god, what is it?”

“I spoke to some mum’s at the school and since the funding for our music program has been pulled, a lot of them were interested in enrolling their kids for music lessons outside of school. I was thinking, if you wanted to, you could teach kids piano.” Phil was drawing light shapes on Dan’s palm as he suggested the idea.

Dan thought about it. He really enjoyed spending time with kids. He found them funny and easy to get along with. He used to teach his little cousins piano whenever they came over for special occasions. It was a good way for him to continue playing without the added stress of having to be perfect.

“I’d like that,” Dan said after a moment of contemplating.

“Really?” Phil looked up at him.

Dan nodded his head, smiling.

“Perfect! I’ll make some flyers to hang on the bulletin board and hand some out on Monday!”

Phil extended his neck to place a peck on Dan’s lips. They stayed cuddling until they had to wake up the next morning.

Dan finally felt incredibly happy. Something he never thought he’d feel in his whole lifetime. It was probably too soon to call what he and Phil have love, but deep down he could tell that’s where this was heading. Dan thought he could just rely on his piano and the passion he held for music to keep him satisfied until he died. He didn’t anticipate that meeting a stranger would flip his world upside down. But here he was.

  


He moved into Phil’s flat within the next few weeks. They transformed the spare room into a music room and purchased a decent piano for Dan to teach with. Dan currently had 3 students enrolled with him and they’ve all been a pleasure to educate.

Phil knocked on the door.

“Violet’s mum’s here to pick her up.”

“You did great this week, Violet!”

“Thanks Dan!” The child got up from the piano bench and collected her books.

“See you next week!”

Violet waved at him.

“She’s really excelling,” he said as Mrs. Waters came into view.

“Thank you, Daniel. She always says it’s the highlight of her week.”

After they left, Phil came and embraced him from behind.

“It’s really sexy how good you are at teaching, Howell,” he whispered in his ear.

“Is that so?” Dan turned around and wrapped his arms around Phil’s neck. It seemingly became one of his favourite things he got to do.

“Mhm.”

Dan kissed Phil passionately. It still fascinated him that he could just lean in for a kiss or touch Phil whenever he wanted. Sometimes he did it to check if he was real. That this wasn’t one big hoax being played on him. He spent so long hating love that he sometimes felt unworthy of it whenever he and Phil were affectionate. But he couldn’t deny how incredible it felt to love someone who you knew loved you just as much back.

 

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed it! x 
> 
> This is the longest one shot I've ever written, so I apologize if there's any mistakes. Please don't hesitate to point them out to me :)
> 
> howellucinogenics on Tumblr if you want to say hi!


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